2018

Behindtheopendoor comes to you once again at the end of the year to share with you 15 lessons and realisations and an overview of the past year.

15. Understand how you want to present yourself
How do you want to be seen by others? What are your morals and what do you stand for?. What comes up when someone does a google search on your name. What sort of energy do you put out into the world?. Do you offend people? Are you positive?.
What are your qualities and can you tell a crowd about yourself in a matter of seconds?
Self presentation is so important because you are the boss of yourself. You are in charge, so therefore you want to know and understand your presence before anyone else does. You want to get to know yourself before someone else overrides what you have already mastered; yourself! Be the person you will be proud of if you did not know you. It’s up to you to be your own work in progress.

14. Lead by example
Ever notice a child doing what you do and wondering where they could have got the inspiration to do such a thing from?. Then after moments of unlocking your brain you recognise that very action has been imitated from you?. Have you ever looked to others to show you the way? Maybe a manager, parent, teacher or friend and find you are not getting what you want out of them?. Some of us constantly look to others to show us the way, or be the exact definition of what we think a leader should be. We want them to be on time, mind readers, comforters and intuitive; all side by side of each other. Unfortunately no matter how many times you try to tell someone to do or be the things you wish them to be, they still don’t live up to it. You may find that you repeat yourself time and time again to these people. As a result you may face rejection from them and even the coldest of shoulders. If you lead by example It may not change to every frustrating scenario to exist, however it can make the difference. 

Can you imagine a better you, that tidied up behind yourself every time you made a mess?. Imagine if you got to places, meetings and every appointment in your diary on time? Imagine if you went to the gym consistently 3 times and week, accompanied by eating healthy and going to bed on time?. Can you imagine the impact it would have on your family, friends, co workers and loved ones?. As a result of the new refined you, your nearest and dearest are now following in your footsteps?. You led by example and set the standard, you’ve contributed to a better world impacting numbers bigger than your immediate circle. The expectation you wanted all this time was amongst your very habits and the life you chose to lead.

13. Clearing out is a new beginning
New beginnings are much more important than new things. Old memories we can’t seem to let go of may be the reason why that new beginning is so far away,

Get rid of it! Those old clothes which when you wear; they do not make you feel great anyway. Those clothes you want to turn into house clothes need to go. You don’t need 8 pairs of washed out t-shirts or jeans you will eventually turn into shorts. They are taking up the space you need to fill with things you value and will get a better wear from. 

Your book collection looks great and also makes you look intelligent, however they no longer have relevance to your current life. Donate some of those books to charity, a school, public institutions and care homes. Your home is your safe haven and it deserves to be in a good state. A better environment makes room for bright ideas, new ventures and a clearer vision. Your one decision away from having a brand life without the huge price tag.

12. Your skill is not so much the unique one, you are
The level of energy you put into this skill shows your compassion towards it. It shows you care and are always willing to learn to keep it polished. You are clued up in a way which shows how much attention to detail you really have in this area and it is impressive. This makes you exceed and it is evident you go above an beyond because your delivery is smooth and seamless.
People admire you because your work rate is one of a kind. You have it all under control and people don’t get how. (That made you smile didn’t it). You work smart and this is the very reason you are the unique one, as opposed to your skill being unique.

There are several photographers, writers, doctors, nurses, teachers, instructors and mentors. But when it comes to you, you make that profession so attractive, they all want to know where to sign up. We must acknowledge that our natural way of doing things is completely attached to the reason people choose us over others. Never be so discouraged about how far someone has got in the very field you are just starting out in. They have put in the work to develop the craft at the level they have go it to, by being who they are firsthand and approaching it as themselves. You can only do the same because you are unique and that skill has never had anyone approach it in the way that you do.

11. Just say okay
Want to keep the peace and live an overall peaceful life? Then just say okay from time to time. Some people never budge. They are stuck in their own world, supported by their own problematic opinions. Some people can be difficult, unreasonable, inconsiderate and just not self aware. If you gave them an insight on how unreasonable it is they were, they would 100% disagree. Nothing you say to them is correct or true, because they’re right and your wrong. Being around these people can be frustrating which can leave you in many dead end arguments. Some people complain till kingdom come and present the same challenges to you that have been presenting you with for the last 5 years. What is really interesting is that they deem you as the bad one because you show no emotion. After all they are the ones who show a lack of compassion towards you for having to listen to such a dead end story. The same complaints, the same issues, the same results from the lack of a change in their approach, that has never made them think accountability is what is really missing from their life.

Sounds dramatic, well exactly that. This is what you could be summoned to if you don’t “say okay”.

10. You have to unlearn some things
We have all ben moulded from the very moment we left the womb. We all grow up with habits which are surprisingly good and bad and all objective depending on who we are speaking to. These habits follow us into our adulthood. Maybe you have family and friends who are overreactive to any life scenario that presents itself and you find you have inherited the same approach when it is you go out into the world. It is at that very moment you realise how much unlearning you need to do as a result of that very action you chose. Often you may find that in order to move forward, you have to take a step back. Take a step back and call yourself out and correct that thing you have learn’t over time that is actually causing more harm than good. It is destructive so you take the steps to acknowledge, correct and move forward!

9. Don’t say it even if you really want to
I know what it is you are saying is true, but at what expense is it really that true? The consequence of you saying that very thing means collateral damage. Sometimes we find ourselves in situations where someone has upset us. They’ve said something that stuck with us; something negative. They’ve done something that has attacked our character; they’ve belittled us and made us feel small.

They’ve told a blatant lie and fabricated a storyline you don’t recognise. You are so sure this story has been fabricated because that story is about you. So now you really want to say something. You want to correct that statement, that accusation, that assumption. What if I told you that you that what you are about to say would make you look like the bad person, harsh or even spiteful? Well thats what I thought, it would leave you confused. Being the bigger person means sometimes your response has to be no response. The very person who made you feel the way you did will be quick to shut you down and blame it all on you although they are the ones that started it. Unfortunately sometimes you have to leave some wounds open. You are the bigger person and some people just want to get to you. No need to clap back, you will become resilient to negativity overtime.

8. Keep it to yourself with some exceptions
We all know someone that is very much identical to very nature of Sky News. They always want to know first. Be the first to be updated. They want to know everything. Especially bad news. Life comes with good news and bad news. It is so important to recognise who you should share both scenarios with. Ever notice that person or people who are always fishing for your bad news. They always seem to have advice for your bad news, always wanting to justify why it is your news is unfortunate and never has anything good to say? When that bad news turns into good news, they want to know why, when and even how. They want all the details.

Ever notice that person who when you share your good news with, cant’t believe someone like you deserves such a great achievement attached to your name. They want to know how long it will last for and how it really was that it was attained. However if that news came from anyone else, the details wouldn’t matter so much. They judge you constantly and keep an eye on every life dynamic change you experience. Your new shoes, your new new car, your new partner! You really have to be careful when sharing your good and bad news with others. Life is a journey and the journey is in place to mould and prepare you for the great endeavors to come. Taking a step back to understand the process is your business only. Ever notice those people who overshare with the world and then complain the same world does not give them enough privacy? Or even how much they dislike people being overfamiliar with them? Your personal life and news is not always to be shared unless of course it is cause it is detrimental news. While it is not a fact that the whole world is against you, you never know who it is in the world that is.

7. Be selective with who you take and action advice from
When it comes to advice most of us are quick seek it from our peers even though they may not be the most qualified or experienced. What we may not know at face value is that that advice we receive can cost us in the ling run. All advice is valid to some extent, however it is important to understand your own situation at hand fully before approaching someone with your issue. This is especially when it comes to huge life changing decisions. It wouldn’t be ideal to ask someone who cant be asked to get to work, or misses their deadlines on a regular basis for advice. Or even someone who is bad with money on how to invest. The next time you want advice, try seeking it from someone who you deem as credible; someone who is a great leader. You want to approach someone who does exactly what it is they say they are going to do or, alternatively from someone you trust.

6. Push back with caution
If something isn’t right, you want to push back but with caution. Before you push back, it is important that you understand why you are doing so and what your self beliefs are. If you don’t have enough time to deliver a piece of work, simply voice that the deadline is not long enough and commit to another date. You know that in order to deliver, it can not be at the expense of your general well being because this is what you deem as a personal priority. You have a lot on your plate and know that if you do not set the standard now, you are on a very long road to turbulence.

You know you are worth more than that pay bracket and do not have to explain why. You are naturally a high achiever and always deliver beyond expectations. Pushing back really is another form of negotiation. This is an area you want to become a pro at, it will benefit you in almost every area of your life. 

5. Nobody is perfect; at all
Some people may do some off key things which leave you startled. While being off key is a standard expectation from others in this life we live in, still we do not think such will come from certain group of people. The truth is people will let you down. That logo that Jim said he would help you with, mutually seemed like a good idea at the time. However although the idea was a great one, it came to light that it can no longer be delivered. This is because everything seems great until it is comes to the real work; execution!. People do not mean to be the way they are and it can simply be because they struggle with, overcommitment, life’s pressures, peer pressure, accountability or being easily influenced.

If  you do recognise inconsistency from the same people, it is up to you to take yourself out of that situation. We can only really rely on ourselves to meet our standards, which is why we can have to demonstrate our own commitment. Sometimes we let ourselves down which is when we come to realisation that no one really is perfect.

4. Your crowd is gap between your bridge
Some of us have huge dreams but are so caught up on our crowds, co-d’s and day 1’s and can’t seem to do anything without them. You want to cross that bridge and head straight to success, financial freedom, a better lifestyle. You want to become your own boss, but you don’t know why it seems so unattainable. You find that you never seem to have enough time in your day. You have so many social events, so many birthdays to attend and have a long list of tv series selections you want to watch, you struggle with saying ‘no’. 

With that being said, that is the gap between your bridge. Sacrifices come in so many different forms. In order to reach that goal, some life amendments need to be made. Where can you take time out for yourself and how bad do you really want it? How many hours are you willing to put in after work?. If you start work at 9am and leave home at 7:45am, are you willing to wake up at 5:30am so you can work on yourself for 1 hour?. What is more important to you?. Is it being present at social settings or present with your dreams. Evaluate where that gap between your bridge is coming from and carry out the correct execution for the purpose of a better future.

3. Prepare for your breakthrough
Get in position because all that hard work you have been putting in, is going to come to fruition for you very soon. The time is now for you to take action. Don’t hold back and be half hearted about it because you don’t know exactly how things are going to come together. You don’t need to know that part, because eventually they just will.

A lot of the greatest achievers of this world prepared for their breakthrough. They put in the work when no one was looking. They persevered, they grinded they believed!. Get used to delayed gratification especially if you want longevity in everything you lay your hands on. Not everyone gets lucky in the way you think they do. It can be hard to believe that this is not the case, especially in a world where achievement is thrown in our faces. If your dreams came true today, would you be prepared for it? (I bet that just rocked your world). Ask yourself this question on a regular basis to stay motivated whilst on the road to your breakthrough.

2. A lot can change in a week
Whether you are on the road to an excelling career or in such a rut you don’t know where your next meal is going to come from or how you are going to get to work, just know that a lot can change in a week. You’ve experience it before! Just last week you were laying on a beach and on the very same day the week after you find yourself at the bus stop, waiting to get on the bus to take you to work. Such a different dynamic from just a week ago right?.

Never take advantage of life because you have everything going for you and you are in a good position because the economy can become unstable just like that. Never ignore the process if life completely throws you off your feet and you end up in a crisis. In this crisis, you could grab something from it that will change your life forever for the better. You always have to pay attention to every life scenario. Life is not worth living if its going to be lived on the very edge. However being 100% aware on staying schooled on life is essential.

1. Self belief is powerful
A lot of people will believe in you and an equal amount of people may not. While this may be encouraging if they do and discouraging if they don’t you cant rely on their fragmented views to determine your success. They will never know or feel your level of power and passion.

It is important to put self belief at the forefront of your life to ensure your to do list is getting crossed off. Most of all, you want to meet achievements by taking action and this is how you measure your progression. Continuous self belief means consistent progress. Progression coming from you means no one can own or take that from you. You put in the work as a result of believing in yourself.

Wishing you a happy 2019
From behindtheopendoor to you

Why not have a read of 2017 to see how this compares